Dear Xanga --

I think I'm cheating on you with Twitter (@mmecadon)  and Blogger (http://mecadon.blogger.com) and Facebook. I'm sorry if you feel neglected. Let's not think of this as an affair - let's say we're taking a break to see other people...do you agree?

Really Xanga, it's not you, it's me...




I'll update soon.

Sometimes I wonder what the heck I'm doing -- I mean all the time, really.
What the heck am I doing and why the heck am I here -- and I'm really, truly, completely trusting that God has placed me in Rockford teaching at this ridiculously wonderful school with this choir that is pushing and pulling me in all directions and stretching me to be a better person and a better teacher - I know He's put me here for a reason. And He's blessed me with such a wonderful life --

I mean that.
I cried a lot when my parents divorced, and when every boy I've fallen for fell for my friend or just wanted to be my friend; and there are all those times when I asked "why me?" They were selfish stupid moments. Yes, then needed to happen. Yes, I thought my life was crumbling then. But it wasn't.

He was building me, shaping me, molding me -- He still is.

I'm tough - I know how to do what I need to do. I can stick up for myself and I don't let people hurt me -- but at the same time I know how undoubtedly important it is to love everyone and everything.  Someone told me once that when we listen to God -- we should hear "love, love, love".

We focus so much on the "what" the "where" the "why" - we believe He is going to give us specific directions -- I don't know about that anymore....I don't know about much anymore.

But I do know that I'm here to "love, love, love" no matter what. no matter who. no matter why...



ugh - I can't stop listening to Brett Dennen

a year ago this week I was offered my job.

I was so confused, didn't understand why everyone was offering me choir when I was interviewing for band.
I honestly still don't know why I come across as a choir director to everyone -- bubbles, personality, style?

whatever it is. I'm thankful..beyond thankful.

I'm being pulled and stretched so much in this position. I love my students. I love my job. I love singing. I do miss band, and I will end up teaching band someday, but for now I'm very happy at Boylan Catholic.

I love teaching at a school where class begins with a prayer. I love the retreats I've gotten to go on with these kids. I love seeing students grow as intellectuals, as well as in faith.

I'm completely blessed and I have no idea why I deserve any of this...